Have you ever worked so hard for something, prayed for it or wished for it really fervently and then when you got it said, “Eh, it’s just alright”? Maybe you waited so long for it, there’s no excitement left about it! Been there, done that. I just accomplished something at work that I’ve been waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting on . . . for forever it seems. Six years at this job. That’s not forever, clearly, but it can feel like it. And I thought I would be oh so excited about it when it happened. I thought I’d tell everyone, talk about it a lot, be so happy and grateful and pleased. And I’m grateful, yes, and a little happy. But it feels like it doesn’t really matter at this point; it should have happened long ago and now that it did, it’s just recognition of what should have happened long ago. And I find myself a little annoyed at people who are acting like “oh, it’s so wonderful, Nicole, you’re so deserving” when I feel like I was deserving years ago. Good things come to those who wait, yeah, yeah . . .
So of course I need to get out of this state of mind! I don’t want to begrudge God the gift he gave me of allowing the accolade to happen at work. It would not, could not have happened without Him. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for something like this because it doesn’t happen to everyone. Here’s how I’m coaching myself out of this one (yes, I said “coaching” not “coached” because I’m still workin’ on it!):
1. I’m trying to concentrate on a few lessons learned in this process: (a) perseverance is a tough but worthy effort because your hard work will be recognized by someone at some point so don’t give up; and (b) your path is your own – it does NOT matter how long it took you to do something as compared to someone else.
2. I’m remembering that God loves me and there was a purpose in my having to wait for this. I don’t know what that purpose is just yet, but I’m confident it will be made known to me through prayer.
3. Waiting and not getting everything you want or think you need right away reinforces patience and trust in God that what is meant to happen will happen in due time. I used to sing in a church choir where the director would say “in divine time” and I love to use that with others when questions surface about when something is going to happen. Since my husband and I have been married 3 years now, many people have asked us when we are going to have a baby. We definitely want one and it will happen in divine time. There’s no use getting mad about it not happening earlier because that’s not going to make it happen any sooner! Same thing is true with this promotion, it happened on God’s timeline.
4. Things just seem to work out at the right time: I’m going to have some major expenditures coming up fairly soon and this little bump in pay came at just the right time!
5. A little shift in focus is what the doctor ordered! Actually, it’s what God ordered. Instead of focusing on how this should have happened long ago (I mean, really, Nicole, based on #1-4 above, should it have???), how about focusing on how wonderful it is that the day is here?? If I think back to how I imagined I’d feel when I got that promotion I worked for, I remember how I said I’d be so thankful for it, so excited about it, and I probably thought about how much I’d praise God for it. Where’s the praise, sistah? Just because it didn’t come on your timeline. Well, isn’t that interesting. So, my focus from here on out is to be how great God is, how He answered my prayer, how He recognized my efforts, patience and perseverance (even if I had a few fits along the way!), and being as happy about it as I thought I’d be all those years ago. Childlike glee is my goal!
What’s happening in your life that you’re not as excited about it as you thought you’d be initially? Will any of this help you to be more grateful and excited? Will it help you praise Him for how good He was to you? I hope so – He deserves the praise!