I was having lunch with a friend the other day and the waiter asked if we wanted bread. Normal question, not a big deal. I said yes, but I asked him to bring it out with the rest of the food. Why? Any “Weight Watcher” knows the answer to that! I’d love to say that I have the self-discipline and control not to eat all the bread staring at me and calling my name (they say it like this: you know you want me, honey, with a little southern drawl to boot). But the fact is, when I’m in my right mind in terms of eating healthy, I still need a little help. And that was my way of being healthy in that moment – asking for the bread to be brought out with the rest of the food so that I wouldn’t eat 3-4 pieces before my actual lunch came. So my friend says – “If I didn’t know you better and hadn’t seen you, I’d think you were 300 pounds the way you talk.” I guess that means I talk about food and weight loss alot?
So I told her, “It’s the 10-pound issue.” What’s that? I’m always trying to lose 10 pounds. Maybe at a good point in my weight life, I wanted to lose just 5-7 pounds, but right now it’s 10. And let’s face it, the “10-pound issue” sounds better. But I digress. The fact is – I think about what I eat, what I weigh, what I shouldn’t be eating, how I need to exercise more, and on and on, excessively. OK, no need to judge it, how about just a lot? There’s a factual, non-judgmental observation for ya! And I realize it’s something that I talk about a lot too. Others not only notice it, they’re probably tired of it too, just like I am! Maybe the “I’d think you were 300 pounds” comment was a way of saying – stop talking about it. Maybe it seems like I’m fishing for compliments when I bring up my desire to lose 10 pounds (or 5-7, smile), but I’ve thought about this and it’s really not an attempt on my part to get a compliment. No, it’s much deeper than that. It is part of my vocabulary. Insert big sigh here.
Addressing the 10-pound issue and working toward not feeling like I need to lose those 10 pounds is a worthy goal. I’ll work on that, too, but since that might take longer and more effort, I think I’ll also work on taking the weight loss talk right out of my vocabulary. Perhaps that’s the first step in the larger goal above. If I stop talking about it, maybe I can stop thinking about it. I’ll tell you, it worked before when I had to learn to stop talking about the boss I couldn’t stand for so many years. Once I stopped talking about it to my friends and family, I started to think about it a little less, and a little less, until finally the only time I’d talk about it or really focus on it was when others asked me how things were going with that boss. I’d say, “the same” and be ready to move on because I really didn’t care to spend any time or energy on her. Now I’m going to try employing that method with my “weight loss/exercise talk.” Every time I start to say something to someone about it, I’m going to stop myself and change course. And every time I start to think about it, I’m going to try thinking of something else, too. And maybe, just maybe this first step will help me make progress in addressing the 10-pound issue and finally realizing that I don’t have 10 more pounds to lose. I’m where I am and that’s fine – no resistance. Off I go to think greater thoughts!!
