So I was driving to work today and I checked my email (I was at a stop light, I promise). I saw an email from my boss and thought, “I shouldn’t read this now because I’d like to enjoy my drive to work and that might upset me.” I was successful at avoiding the email for a few more stoplights, but curiosity got the best of me. Or maybe it was a need to see the drama that I knew would be in the email and think of how to respond on my way in to the office. I tried, I really did, but I had to read the email. And, wouldn’t you know it, sure enough, it bothered me. It upset me and I spent the next 20 minutes or so thinking of my response – I’ll say this, and then that, and so on and so on. And, of course, my stomach was tight and my body was tense. And my head started to hurt. The whole reason I decided not to read the email was to be able to have a pleasant ride to work. So much for that. I got in my own way on that. I allowed myself to be drawn into the drama.
At some point I decided to turn off the Steve Harvey Morning Show (they were talking about a woman who wrote in about her husband smoking too much marijuana – do I really need to listen to that on the way to work???). I had a couple chuckles at Steve and his sidekicks, but I needed something more uplifting. I needed something to take my mind off the drama, off the email, off my boss. So I turned on my favorite West Angeles CD and got to thinking about what really matters. And all of a sudden, as I drove down Barham, it hit me! I don’t need to craft my response to the dreaded email. I don’t need to worry about it. I need to pray to God for guidance on how to respond to this person and this email. Novel concept. I thought I had long ago given up this situation with my boss/job over to God, but inevitably I get drawn into the drama again and I ride that wave of controversy. It’s like I was talking about in the last post – have I really given it over to God when I keep worrying about it or when something happens to draw me back into that thought process? I don’t think so! But back to my story – I immediately felt better once I committed myself to being led by God about whether/how to respond to this email. His decision on the matter was so much better than mine. And for those precious moments I wasted thinking about my response, I wasn’t really thinking of the best Christian response, so I couldn’t have been on the right track in that regard. I was not planning to be nasty in my response, mind you, but I was thinking about something that others might describe as sharp or pointed, shall we say.
So at this point you just want to know if I spent the day thinking about it or if I responded to the email, right? Nope, I didn’t respond at all. And I’m feeling pretty darn good about it. Who cares if I didn’t respond – it wasn’t necessary. In fact, when I happened to scan the email again much later in the day (yes, I purposely avoided reading it all day long so I wouldn’t draw myself back into it), it didn’t even seem that bad. It didn’t even seem like it warranted a response. I’m taking that as the power of a little prayer to God for guidance. I didn’t even ask Him to help me think about something else or get over it or anything like that – I just asked Him to lead me on how, if at all, to respond. And I got my answer – not to respond at all because there was really nothing to say. And as if that wasn’t enough, I got some peace around not responding. Hallelujah! I can always use more peace!
That’s the story for today; now for the explanation of the name of this post: This past weekend in my coaching class, we worked on life purpose statements. The woman that helped me come up with mine pointed out my love of telling stories and so it came to be that the beginning of my statement is – I am a storyteller. I’m still thinking about it, planning to tweak it as necessary, but the end result was this: I am a storyteller who awakens others to their passion and to God’s purpose for their lives. There was some really deep learning for me in this statement and this past weekend of learning. I’m excited to be on this journey and even more excited to share it with my family and friends!