Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it? Hogwash!

You know the old saying.  You’ve probably used it before.  I know I have.  And it strikes me that it’s not all that nice a thing to say because it usually has a negative connotation:  you might not want to ask for that because what if you get it, you might regret it.  For example, there have been times when I’ve said I want to have kids and others (they have children, of course) have responded with – be careful what you ask for, soon you’ll have them and you’ll see what hard work it is!  Or what about this – you say you want that promotion, but don’t ask because it’s going to be a lot more work.  Not really encouraging, is it?  Yet, we use this saying all the time without even thinking of how negative and discouraging it is to the person hearing the comment.  I think these types of sayings can cause people to fear what might happen if you ask for something you really want and that’s no good at all.  Why should we be afraid of asking for what we want?  Yes, it could be bad, but why not concentrate on the fact that it just might be good?  Better than good – great, fantastic, terrific, wonderful, absolutely SUPER!  Living a life full of fear is restrictive and unrewarding.  It sounds like I’m blowing the little saying out of proportion, I know (I can hear you thinking it!), but the thing is, this is just one small way that some of us live in fear.  Fear of what might happen.  In doing so, we live a life that’s much smaller and more restricted than the life we could be living!  I submit to you that if you really want something, you’ve pondered it and decided you want it – GO FOR IT!!!

What’s the worst that could happen if you ask for what you want or go for what you want?  You might get it – wonderful!  You might get it partially – you’re still better off than when you didn’t ask.  And the final option, you might not get it at all.  Well, at least you asked.  You get KUDOS on being courageous enough to step outside of the shell and ask.  If you asked and you didn’t get it, you’re no worse off than before!  I know I’ve said it before, but it’s like my parents always say, “Nothing beats a failure but a try!”  One of my favorite sayings indeed.

I can hear the naysayers – I don’t want anyone to know that I want that because what if they think badly of me because of that or talk about me behind my back because of it or even worse, rub it in if I don’t get it.  We can talk about eliminating those types of bad influences in another post!  In fact, check out some of my previous posts on these same issues.

I just wanted to follow up on my most recent post to share what happened when I opened up to my family and friends about finding coaching clients for my certification process.  After all that procrastinating about sending emails to my friends and family about coach certification and my need for clients (see last post) because I was worried about what to say, about asking for too much and about feeling like I would be putting upon people too much, guess what?  After I sent the emails, I felt relieved!  And I don’t feel bad about asking for help either.  That’s the great thing – there’s no regret.  If some people felt put upon, they didn’t tell me.  (Not yet anyway . . .)   And I received a great deal of good wishes, so that felt fabulous!  Even for those who didn’t respond, I’m choosing to believe that they are quietly supportive.  Who knows, maybe they’ll voice their support later on or maybe they sent it on to their network w/o telling me and it will lead to a client down the line in the future.  Wouldn’t that be terrific?!

I feel so blessed by the supportive response and just wanted to share my testimony with friends and family because this is what it is truly all about!


Nicole Hancock Husband is an attorney and Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (“CPCC”). Nicole graduated from Howard University School of Law in 1996 with a Juris Doctorate and from Ohio State University in 1993 with a Bachelor’s of Science in Business Administration, with a Finance/International Studies double major and Spanish minor.