Asking for what you want – tough to do but so worth the effort

Seems easy, right?  Just figure out what you want and ask for it.  So why do we struggle with it so much?  I didn’t fully realize until somewhat recently that I don’t ask for what I want all that often.  I didn’t used to even put it into words all that often.  Why the heck not?  Let’s be honest – I’m no shrinking violet.  But I consider that to be part of my undeniable charm! 

I think what made it hard for me to ask for what I want, or even say what I want to family and friends was this:  I didn’t really know what I wanted!  Incredible.  Have you ever been in a job interview where the interviewer asked where you wanted to be in 10 years?  I really struggled with that question.  I knew I wanted to be a wife and mother – not the greatest response in a job interview, it doesn’t really say “I’m all about this job!” – but I didn’t know what the heck I wanted to do with my career.  So I really had to take some time to figure out what I wanted.  And over the course of the last few years, I figured out that I want to inspire, motivate, teach, coach, move people to act.  And then I started telling people about it, making it real to me and to others.  And now I’m working toward that.  It is such a wonderful feeling to have an answer to that question of where I want to be career-wise in 10 years.  Now that I know what I want, I can pray on it, ask God for it and believe in Him for it.

So if you’re like me and you’re striving to get better at asking for what you want – whether it’s something major or something small – try taking some time to reflect on what it is you really want and why.  That may help you to then start making it known to others and asking for it.  Speak life to it so your friends and family can start helping you move closer to it.  It takes effort, but it’s so worth it in the end.


Nicole Hancock Husband is an attorney and Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (“CPCC”). Nicole graduated from Howard University School of Law in 1996 with a Juris Doctorate and from Ohio State University in 1993 with a Bachelor’s of Science in Business Administration, with a Finance/International Studies double major and Spanish minor.