Asking For Help

Today I’ve been procrastinating about sending notice to my family and friends about starting my coach certification next month.  I had the idea to send out emails to family, friends, colleagues and even acquaintances as a way to let them know and as a way to drum up some clients.  Yet, it’s a few days later and I haven’t done it yet.  WHY????  The certification process is important to me and I’m really glad to be getting going on it since I finished my courses in coach training with CTI last June.  And I’m proud to be starting it and taking another step towards my goal.  So why on earth am I finding lots of other things to do – including watching movies I have seen before on cable! – instead of handling this important task.  I say important because usually your friends and family want to know about the things going on in your life, so it’s important to let them know.  And it’s important to me to let them know, not only because of that, but also because I need practice clients for certification and spreading the word is a means toward getting that type of support.  So what on earth is holding me back??

After I pondered it some more, I realized that in sending this email, I am asking for help.  It’s not something I find myself having to do all that often.  I pride myself on being able to handle my business.  You know – I don’t ask for money from anyone and I don’t expect a great deal of assistance from anyone.  I like being able to rely on me, so I don’t really ask people for help all that often.  Well, that’s not quite true when it comes to asking for directions when I’m lost on the road, but we won’t talk about that!  Other than directions and asking where something is in a store, I like to take care of things myself.  It’s easier, I think.  If you don’t rely on anyone, they won’t let you down, right?  And, maybe, just maybe, if you don’t ask other people for help, they won’t ask you for help.  Ever felt that way before?  I’m sure both of those thoughts have crossed our minds a time or two. 

But it’s not the driving force behind my procrastination today.  Today, it’s that I will be asking people to do more than the simple lending an ear for a few minutes to talk or giving me a good restaurant suggestion.  Today I’ll be asking for more of a commitment.  What if people are turned off by email?  What if it doesn’t work?  Yes, these are thoughts I’ve had about it.  But in the end, I’m deciding to go forward anyway.  Hey, I won’t know if people are turned off by it because they probably won’t say.  Let’s hope!  And I shouldn’t be held back by what others think.   So I won’t be.  And as my parents like to say, “Nothing beats a failure but a try.”  In other words, I won’t know if it will work if I don’t try.  So I’m off to send these emails asking for support in my certification process.  It can’t hurt to be vulnerable once in awhile and to ask for help.  Some people love to help.  In fact, I’m one of those people that loves to help others.  That’s one of the main reasons I’m becoming certified.  Ahh, the irony that I love to help others but don’t relish asking for help myself.  

What are some of the steps you can take to stop procrastinating and ask for help when you need it?  One way is to really consider why you’re holding back and not asking for help.  Could it be any of the reasons above, like fear or uncertainty about what others will think?  I challenge you to consider how much fun it is to live your life based on what others think.  I submit to you (using the legalese here!) that it’s no fun and more importantly, it’s not you being you.  Being authentic is truly freeing.  What would you do if you didn’t have the concern about what others think?  It comes down to this: we all need help sometimes.  And it’s okay to ask for it every now and then.  Those who love you won’t mind you asking for it.  Now I’m off to ask family, friends, colleagues – heck, everyone I know! – for help in supporting me through this process.  I trust they won’t mind!!!


Nicole Hancock Husband is an attorney and Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (“CPCC”). Nicole graduated from Howard University School of Law in 1996 with a Juris Doctorate and from Ohio State University in 1993 with a Bachelor’s of Science in Business Administration, with a Finance/International Studies double major and Spanish minor.